


Threshold

by INMH



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation Fills (2016) [22]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: For Science!, Humor, Implied Relationships, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Other, Pre-Slash, Sexual Content, Strong Language, Tony has an unnatural fascination with the Hulk's genitalia, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:17:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INMH/pseuds/INMH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce should know better by now, he really should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Threshold

“This is a horrible idea.”  
  
Bruce looked more or less like he was about to step in front of a firing squad. Tony looked like this was a typical Saturday night.  
  
And really, that said a lot about Tony.  
  
“Look, the Jolly Green Giant gets triggered by stress, right? And I want to see if you… _Doing the do_ has any effect on that process.”  
  
Bruce dragged his hands down his face. How did he get himself into this shit? How had he not learned by this point that when Tony said, “You up for something a little weird?” it was time to pack up and find another hole to hide in?  
  
“And if I transform? You just gonna hope that the Hulk’s too intrigued by his- mine- _our_ dick to smash your head in?”  
  
Tony was rocking back and forth on his heels, a smile tugging at his lips, eyes bright. He never looked more like a mad scientist than he did in these moments. “Not gonna lie, that’s something I’m curious to see.”  
  
Bruce groaned.  
  
“And you want me to do this _outside?_ ”  
  
You know, he should have known better? He should have asked questions when Tony decided to ‘surprise’ him with a trip out to the semi-wooded countryside of New York state. Of course there had to be some insane purpose to it.  
  
“Weren’t you the one who just raised the concern about what will happen if you transform? Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never laid out under the stars, gazed up at the wonders of the universe, and touched yourself to the thought of aliens abducting you and doing a very invasive anal-probe.”  
  
Bruce couldn’t help it- he burst out laughing. Tony’s humor had a way of cracking him in a way most things couldn’t. Or shouldn’t, in some cases.  
  
“So, you good? Or no? You don’t have to. Really. I mean, it would be really cool, and I kinda have this really _intense_ desire to see Hulk-dick, but if you-”  
  
“Alright, alright,” Bruce gave in as he reached down and undid his belt. “Just- stop talking about the Hulk’s dick, yeah? That’s weird.”  
  
“You brought it up first.” Tony said, unrepentant as he backed away and leaned up against a nearby tree. “You want a blanket? A chair? A condom? A dirty sock from the laundry hamper?”  
  
“What I _want_ is for you to stop talking.”  
  
Bruce opened the door of the convertible and settled down on the edge of the seat. There was one of two ways this could go: Either he Hulked-out and destroyed the car (probably why it wasn’t Tony’s favorite they’d driven tonight) or he’d climax like a normal human being, and if the latter ended up being the case, he’d rather avoid damaging the car through more conventional means.  
  
In all honesty, he was a bit interested in the results of this as well. He actually hadn’t masturbated since he’d first become the Hulk; oh, he’d come close, there had been more than a few temptations, but fear of killing, maiming, or flattening everything within a mile of himself tended to kill any boner ambitious enough to get going with him. That being said, he didn’t quite picture his climbing back into the saddle looking quite like this.  
  
“Enjoying the show, Tony?” Bruce was making a point not to look at Tony while he did this. They didn’t know each other nearly well enough at this point that a one-night stand would be anything but an awkward mistake. And he really did enjoy having someone to do science with.  
  
“Oh, immensely. I’m picturing that big green dick right now.”  
  
“ _Why_ are you so obsessed with my dick, Tony?” Bruce panted, almost looking Tony’s way again only to refocus on the grove of trees directly in front of him.  
  
“I’m _not_ obsessed with your dick, I’m obsessed with the _Hulk’s_ dick. There’s a difference. In both color and size.”  
  
Speaking of the green guy, Bruce was starting to get that _feeling_ , and he took a deep breath, trying to focus on staying calm all whilst his body was throwing a damn keg-party in celebration. It wasn’t getting laid, but by God, it was as close as he’d gotten in a long while and would be getting anytime in the near future.  
  
Alright, alright- focus.  
  
Look at the grass.  
  
Breathe, breathe, don’t Hulk-out, breathe, breathe-  
  
 _-look at Tony DON’T DON’T look at Tony bad Bruce, bad-_  
  
-stop? No, don’t stop, come on, nearly there, it’s been way too long since he’d last done this and he really, really _needed_ -  
  
Bruce made a vaguely strangled sound as he came. His insides, his skin burned the way they usually did when the Hulk was threatening to beat down the door and join the party, but- and his libido feel to its knees in thanks- he did not transform. At most, and he couldn’t even be sure of it, his skin may have greened slightly.  
  
“Holy shit,” Bruce whispered.  
  
“Holy _shit_ ,” Tony drawled, sounding more serious than Bruce had ever heard him. He was pulling himself away from the tree, fanning himself with only a little exaggeration. His cheeks had gone a bit red, and the interest in his eyes was now more than just scientific.  
  
Bruce braced himself against the car door, cocking an eyebrow up at Tony. “Yeah?”  
  
Tony finally seemed to catch himself, shaking himself out of whatever (more likely than not) impure thoughts has started running through it. “Well, _that_ was disappointing. Really wanted to see that Jolly Green Disco Stick.”  
  
Bruce allowed himself a little smirk, pulling up his pants and redoing his belt. “I’m sure.”  
  
“I feel like I should be offering you a cigarette. Except I don’t smoke. Of all the potential vices on the list, that is one I have not crossed off.”  
  
And maybe it was Bruce’s imagination, but from the look on his face, it looked like Tony might want to cross a few more off sometime in the near future.  
  
“How about a ride back to the tower and some coffee?”  
  
“That I can do.”  
  
-End


End file.
